


Safe Space

by thesalmondean



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Gen, M/M, One Shot, high school era, post 1.06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 10:55:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17979998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesalmondean/pseuds/thesalmondean
Summary: Alex was pretty sure his dad knew they were still seeing each other, meeting at the museum - but he also knew his dad was so stuck up his own butt he’d never denigrate himself and actually go inside the museum. Which suited Alex fine. The museum was his place, his safe place with Michael, and a place with a lasting connection with his mom.





	Safe Space

The UFO Museum became their refuge. The only safe space where they could be together; and even then, it was only for brief moments. 

It was summer, tourist season was in full swing and Alex, just a lowly hourly wage worker selling tickets to the endless stream of alien enthusiasts who came to Roswell, had two fifteen minute breaks and one half-hour lunch. 

Sometimes he’d get to work the floor of museum; but that only happened on the slow days and honestly, those days were harder to handle than others. Michael could be inside the museum, walking around, brushing past and softly touching his hand; or bumping into him from behind and gently pinching his rear. It was enough to drive Alex mad with want and need, but still...he had only two fifteen minute breaks and one half-hour lunch.

There was also his dad.

Alex was pretty sure his dad knew they were still seeing each other, meeting at the museum - but he also knew his dad was so stuck up his own butt he’d never denigrate himself and actually go inside the museum. Which suited Alex fine. The museum was his place, his safe place with Michael, and a place with a lasting connection with his mom.

His brothers were all older, and they didn’t share many of their mother’s interests such as learning about her native heritage, or showing any interest in her penchant for connecting with the land. They followed after Jesse, insisting on target shooting and hunting trips. Video games and organized sports. So it was left to Alex to accompany his mother out into the desert to collect lemonscent cinchweed for her homemade tea, or to hike to the top of the ridge behind their house and watch the sunset.

And so it was with his mom that Alex first visited the museum. It was really just for fun; a joke. It was a rainy, cold late-October day and Alex was bored to tears. Rather than sit around with his brothers watching them play video games that he was no good at (and that he hated anyway), he begged his mom to take him to the UFO Museum. He’d always been curious about it, about the whole alien mythos surrounding Roswell. His father used to make cruel fun of him for asking questions about it, so he learned very early not to speak of aliens within earshot of his dad. That October day, his mom acquiesced and so they went. They had a fantastic time pretending to be tourists and laughing at the silly displays and cheesy videos that played endlessly on a loop. They managed to go back again a few more times before she left...

After she left, Alex couldn’t even walk past the museum because it reminded him of her. When he was older, his dad insisted Alex get a job to 'pay his way' and the options were quite limited. It was either work at the museum or be a dishwasher at some food joint. Alex chose the museum. It still made him sad, sometimes, but more often than not he remembered the fun he and his mom used to have.

And of course, he vividly remembered his first kiss with Michael Guerin. 

That memory, too, is tinged with sadness, with what happened after, back at the shed. But their moment in the museum remained pure - separate from the awfulness that came later. While there in that place Alex could manage to forget, for a little while, what happened with his dad in the tool shed.

Even when he’d see Michael waiting outside for Alex to go on his break, left hand wrapped in a dirty, messy cast, he’d feel his pulse race and a flush rise in his cheeks - reliving that first kiss over and over again. Even when he’d see Michael walking through the displays, his cast glowing brightly in the black lights that were installed, he’d feel giddy and light-headed. It was easier to forget the real world while he was inside the four walls of the UFO Museum. 

They’d sneak away at every opportunity (two fifteen minute breaks, and a half-hour lunch) and spend the entire time touching, and kissing, and talking. Talking about future plans, and leaving Roswell. Michael’s excitement about the future, and leaving, seemed to wax and wane depending on the day, and Alex always wanted to ask him what was going on, but the minute things got too serious Michael would be on him, hands in his hair and up his shirt and lips on his neck and jaw and he would be kissing him breathless. 

It was only later - when it was too late to do anything about it - that Alex realized Michael was using his affection as an avoidance technique, and he felt so guilty he didn’t realize it sooner. 

Mid-way through summer was when his father told him he needed to enlist. Join the Air Force. Like his grandfather, and his father, and all his brothers. Carry on the tradition of the male lineage. Alex balked at the idea.

He didn’t have college plans - rather, he was saving money from his job to travel to Tibet; he wanted to travel first and try to figure himself out. He'd lived his life suppressed and oppressed by his father and he really had no idea who he was. He’d already managed to get a passport without his father knowing, and was one-third of the way to meeting his monetary goal. When he had enough money saved his plan was to leave in the night, and never return. He hadn’t told Michael about the never return part...and he was starting to wonder if he’d be able to stay away. Guerin acted as a magnetic pull, drawing Alex to him. He never wanted to be apart from Michael for more than a day if possible (which is why he always took any and all shifts he was offered at the museum. More time there meant more time with Michael). 

Boot camp started August 1 - and it would be impossible for Alex to save enough money before then to get sufficiently far enough away from his dad. He had three weeks...three weeks to be with Michael in the UFO Museum. Three weeks to paint his nails black and put on eyeliner and spike his hair with gel. Three weeks before his father would be sending him away. 

He thought about pushing back, about fighting the decree - but his father’s unspoken threat the day after he’d told Alex was enough to deter him. Because if Alex didn’t go, it would be Michael who would suffer. Michael, who was alone with no one to fight for him; to protect him. It’d be so easy for his dad to do something - and get away with it. So Alex agreed. And his heart broke because of it.

When he told Michael, in the museum, they both cried. 

After that, the magic was diminished and the previously safe space no longer felt as safe as it had before. Each moment they spent together there was one less moment remaining. One day closer to the day Alex would be leaving for good. They were both devastated. Alex tried to be a bright spot in that dark time, but Michael wasn’t having it. There was more going on with him, Alex could tell, but if he didn’t ask before he certainly couldn’t ask now; not when he was leaving and wasn’t sure when he’d be back. 

They didn’t talk about what would happen after Alex left. They didn’t make promises to write or call, even though Alex wanted to. 

The day before Alex was to leave, they went out to desert and spent the entire day in the back of Michael’s truck, holding each other, kissing, making love. It was hot and sweaty and smelly and perfect. Alex hoped the memories of the day would sustain him, and he didn’t fear his father’s wrath when he got home later; he was leaving the next day. He might be forced to be apart from Michael, but in contrast he was giddy to get away from his dad. 

The morning he was leaving, Alex was surprised to walk out his front door and see Michael leaning against his truck across the street. He was wearing a cowboy hat, which was a new look for him, and Alex licked his lips involuntarily and wanting nothing more than to rush across the street into his arms and kiss him until the end of time. 

That’s when his father emerged from the house, and Alex felt his oppressive presence loom over him even as he saw Michael visibly stiffen and clench his right hand; his left was still in a brace, the shattered bones in his hand beginning to mend, but still requiring protection. 

Not for the first time, Alex felt waves of hatred for his father wash over him, and it was all he could do not to simply run to Michael and beg him to just take him away. He had some money, maybe they could get far enough...

“Let’s go,”  Jesse clipped, his tone angry, shocking Alex from his daydream.

“One sec,” Alex, emboldened, dropped his duffel on the porch of the house and jogged down the stairs and across the street to where Michael now stood with his arms hanging at his side, an anxious look on his face.

“Are you still going?” were the first words out of his mouth.

Alex didn’t respond and Michael’s lips narrowed as he nodded in understanding.

“I’m sorry,” Alex said, feeling like it was nowhere near enough; pathetic, in fact.

Michael offered a lopsided smile that crushed the remaining pieces of Alex’s heart. 

“It’s okay, Alex. I get it.”

Michael stepped forward then, and to Alex’s surprise pulled him to him, pressing his face into the crook of his neck and laying soft butterfly kisses there. 

It took just a few seconds for Alex to respond as he lifted his arms and wrapped them tight around Michael, not caring who saw and feeling perverse pride as he imagined his father having a coronary over this display.

His father. 

Alex sighed and pulled away, regretting it almost immediately when he saw the sadness in Michael’s wet eyes. 

“I’ll see ya, Guerin,” Alex nodded, his voice thick with a cacophony of emotions as he stepped back a few steps, still unwilling and unable to break eye contact.

“Yeah,” Michael wiped his arm across his eyes, “see ya,” turning his back to Alex he climbed quickly into his truck and drove away.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written in over a year so this might be a little rough. Thanks for reading! Come see me on tumblr, https://apositivelifeaffirmingway.tumblr.com/


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